Interview with Rachel Giannascoli
Photos by Superstars Only
Interview by Daniela Rodriguez and Adrian Tiu
Upon stepping foot into her home in Philadelphia, one is immediately thrown into Rachel Giannascoli's world: children's toys are scrawled across the carpet and stuffed animals run rampant over the couches. Plants are flourishing in the tableside corner and a handful of recognizable paintings of hers are hung delicately around the space. One in particular, a painting of a group of vibrant parrots resting on a few leafless branches, commands the room; its scale is impressive, especially having only seen it as a thumbnail on Spotify. It was the original painting of the cover for God Save the Animals, the most recent album by her singer/songwriter brother, Alex G, who she has been painting covers for since before his inaugural project. Looking around the room, one could also spot the original painting for her brother's 2017 album, Rocket—which depicts a goat standing unassumingly in a field of grass—hanging across from a painting of two polar bears basking in the sun. The animal motifs in Rachel's paintings seem to be as common as her religious motifs, though it seems like, for her, the two themes live together in harmony: she paints the natural world with a heavenly glow and paints the religious world with an earthly rusticness. Rachel kindly brought out a bunch of her old paintings that had been stored away so that we could take some photos after our discussion of interior design, dreams, catholicism, and much more.
Daniela
When did you start painting?
Rachel
I've always painted for fun as long as I can remember. My first paintings were on furniture actually, in high school. Maybe fifteen or something like that. I painted a really cool bookshelf as a gift for my boyfriend at the time. It was really fun and it opened me up to painting in general. I wanted to do that all the time.
Daniela
What did the bookcase look like?
Rachel
The theme was Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass: just pulling from that book—the poetry and imagery from it. Waterscapes, sailboats, people, plants, mountains—just like nature, I guess. I think I had seen stuff at Eyes gallery, or like, you know, like Mexican art and was really inspired by that. I put mirror mosaics on it and stuff, which was just grout. You can add paint to the grout and just stick things on it and it stays.
Daniela
That's a great gift.
Rachel
Yeah, it was cool. He gave it back to me though. So my parents have it. Not like a mean thing. It was just that we broke up, you know, and he just didn't want to have it.
Adrian
So were you only painting on objects and stuff at that point?
Rachel
Yeah, at that point. I did a couple chairs. It started from doing a chair as a project that was assigned and we were able to use paper mache and shape it and I made the arms and the trees with paper mache and tin foil. Painting on an object was just fun. I don't know, there was no pressure. Like a blank canvas is a little bit more bold, I guess. I was not thinking like, "Oh, I'm gonna go out and get a canvas," yet. In high school, I had a teacher that assigned projects—I think all teachers should do this—that you could present in any form you wanted. Like, if you like to make music or if you like to draw, make a drawing to convey how you interpreted this reading or something. You could just put forth something you were interested in. So that was the first time I did it on canvas I guess.
Daniela
Did you go to school for art? Did those assignments make you want to pursue art?
Rachel
I was really turned off by taking art classes in school because of the pressure. I guess I was just turned off by being with all these other artists. I don't know, I guess something about that was like—I don't want to do that. But in college I started out taking electives and I took a painting class in college and it was really fun. I loved it. So it just took me till then to want to do it in class. But I majored in interior design because I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I knew I wanted to do something with art. My mom was a painting major, actually, which was a big influence and was why I was really interested in the arts. My parents were just helping me with school, and they were just like please do something else. You can always paint, you know, just don't do that [at school]. In hindsight, either way it would have worked out. I would not deter anyone from going deeper into what they like to do. But that's just what it was so I was like, well, interior design is creative. Like, I can still put things together in that way.
Daniela
Yeah, I mean, it's still connected, because you were painting on furniture.
Rachel
I really enjoyed it. I thought I would like to do set design because that would be very creative. But I love interior design, actually. They didn't have set design. So I was like, "Oh, well, this will be fine." And the program was really cool. It was really out there. It wasn't business oriented—not that that would be bad either. I had awesome professors. It was a really small program, because it was underdeveloped.
Daniela
Do you still do Interior Design?
Rachel
Yeah. That's how I make a living. It allows me not to put pressure on the painting aspect, which would be my goal, anyways. I wouldn't want to have to rely on that to make a living. But I also haven't painted—I painted like the beginning of this year, but I just don't make enough time to do it now. I would love to do it all the time.
Daniela
Yeah, I was gonna ask, how do you balance work and art for yourself?
Rachel
Yeah, I am in a different phase right now, because of having kids. I want to make money right now, so I'm focusing on that. But I do enjoy it. So I'm fine with it. I have my own thing right now within my job—I do kitchens and bathrooms. So I'm free in it. But when I wasn't free in it, and I was working for other places and doing things in and around interior design and I didn't have that outlet, I was painting all the time. Because it had to come out in some way and right now it's fulfilled in a way. I also don't have the space to do it either. Or the time.
Daniela
Yeah, because it's hard. Like, I have this fear of when you work a creative job that maybe you lose that creativity for yourself. But you seem to be more fulfilled in that way. So that's cool.
Rachel
Yeah. There's a loneliness to painting that I felt when I was doing it a lot. I was too much in my own head. But then when I do someone's kitchen, it's very fulfilling. Like seeing it come to fruition and see how happy they are. Yeah, but I'm not tapping into this other part that's like, what art is. That's just out. It's not grounded. And I can't really toggle back and forth between it. It has to be like, Okay, I'm gonna take a break from this stuff for a couple months or so and just get into painting.
Adrian
Would you ever want to paint an entire kitchen?
Rachel
I'd be open to it. It's a neat idea.
Adrian
Have you ever done dioramas?
Rachel
Oh, I have made models like miniatures. Actually, the back of House of Sugar is a photograph of a model.
Adrian
Oh, the horse! We had questions about that because it was so stylistically different.
Daniela
They're so beautiful.
Rachel
Thank you. I think they turned out really cool because they're photographs.
Adrian
So how did you make the miniature?
Rachel
Paper mache and then clay for the figures and then just stuff from outside—moss and sticks.
Daniela
That's so cool. Yeah, I wouldn't have guessed that.
Rachel
I think if I had time, my goal would be to paint the photograph. Like, now I can have this big landscape and I can do whatever with it and put the light in different ways and ultimately it would be cool to paint that. Because it's hard to like paint scenarios from your mind without understanding how the light is hitting stuff. I did like painting from my mind more so than real life but that's changed, honestly. I'm just really interested in painting landscapes, but I haven't really done that as much. I was just always interested in my own visions and stuff but now I'm just like this is crazy beautiful and, yeah, you learn so much.
Daniela
The photos themselves of the diorama kind of look like paintings already.
Rachel
Yeah! It's just because there's not good lighting *laughs*. I also enhance it and stuff a little bit but they come out really cool.
Daniela
It's very magical. I like that mystery and how it's not so obvious.
Rachel
Yeah, you can pick up on something odd about it, but like you don't know.
Adrian
Have you looked at the AI generated stuff? A lot of the figures in the photos have this whispiness to them that reminds me of that.
Rachel
You're right. I know what you're saying. And I think that they're a little blurry or something and also maybe it's the clay and the little hairs on the clay that's just odd. But it wasn't done with good lighting. And it's not like I intentionally was like, "oh, let's not do good lighting for that reason"—I was playing around you know, and that sometimes happens and you're like, "Ooo!" It started because Alex and I had the idea to make a stop motion video or something with this like setting but we just didn't have the right equipment and it just got scrapped, but I had this stuff, so I was just photographing it.
Daniela
That would look cool. It should happen one day. Is there any imagery you use from your childhood in your paintings? You mentioned you have a lot of visions and you struggle with going back and forth with painting from real life instead of visions?
Rachel
Oh, visions, like in dreams a lot of times. Yeah, just, I dream very vividly. And that has always been a huge inspiration because it's like, why and what is that? So, a lot of times, I just find that they are really cool because they're like AI generated things—it's all this information put together like in an image. And you can learn a lot by just thinking about them. Like, learn a lot about seeing your life situation from a different lens. That was like a main focus of a lot of the paintings on Canvas for a while. Some of them are just , trying to connect with, whatever, you know. See, I don't know. There was something super magical about painting where you can just do it as a thing to do. What am I gonna paint? No pressure. When you're done it just feels really cool, you know what I mean? Like if you've ever just let it go and see what happens—that's when painting is the most fun for me. But that was connecting with the unseen and I didn't really come to understand all that. I was always trying to make sense of that and painting was one way to experience connection with, I guess, God. But 10 years ago I would never have known that it was like that.
Adrian
Yeah, a lot of French surrealists cite automatic painting and stuff from dreams in their work. Are you inspired by surrealism at all?
Rachel
Oh, probably. I was really into going to museums in college. I was really inspired just absorbing all the classical art that's in the museums. I think I saw a Dali exhibit. I don't know if he's French, is he? But he's a surrealist. I'm influenced by so much art, you know? I wouldn't want to say like, "oh, yeah, I knew that philosophy "because, I don't think I did. But I would never deny that I'm influenced by everything.
Daniela
When you paint intuitively like from your dreams, is it just like straight onto the canvas? Or do you plan things out by sketching and stuff?
Rachel
Some of them I've sketched out before and planned, but I wouldn't say a lot of them are from that. A lot of them are just off the cuff. And there's so many layers of other paintings that they once were beforehand. I guess because of a lack of space. You can see that that's how they get their texture too. They're just so many things beforehand. That's the special aspect of them. That's why the image can be simple and stand alone to me because there's so much underneath.Daniela
I wanted to know if the texture was intentional, but it just seems like it's just part of the natural process.
Rachel
Yeah. A lot of times I'll find canvases at thrift stores and they already have—which is so bad. And they're already stretched. Or if I really liked it, I wouldn't do anything.
Daniela
Do you ever feel attached to an image that you're painting but then like you have another idea, and you just paint over it?
Rachel
Oh gosh, yes. And then a lot of times I regret it, honestly. I've ruined a few paintings like that. And it's okay. But I'm like, what I had was really cool, I just couldn't see it at the time because I wanted it to be this other thing. And that's so neat. That's just part of what you learned.
Daniela
You have to get everything out before you can fully realize what it is that you're trying to do in the first place.
Rachel
I also like letting go and seeing what happens sometimes. If I had all this time and freedom I would do that a lot more. When you think you're doing this one thing, it's interesting how the place you're not trying to get is the really cool part.
Daniela
You mentioned earlier that it took you a while to realize the dreams were visions from God or a way to get closer to God? Can you talk more about that? Because there's a lot of religious symbols and characters in your paintings.
Rachel
Yeah, I always felt like when I look at any kind of religious art—I just felt it was the most powerful to look at. It touches upon the headspace I guess I lived in for a while where I was constantly just like: there's just so much more than all of this. I was just seeking a type of thinking that could touch upon why dreams can happen in real life. And I knew that that was happening. And I knew that happened to other people—it happened to my mom a lot and it's just such a cool thing. But like, where do I go to look into this? It's a phenomenon that isn't studied enough. I got into Carl Jung a lot and that sort of led me into more psychic stuff and new agey types of books and things like that. I just went in that direction in my thinking, so it would come out with my art. I got into yoga—that was a big influence for a while. I was always very into running—I ran all throughout school and college. I was a figure skater for like half my life. Yoga touched upon the body and the spirit so I loved that about it. Then I got into Indian philosophy, because it's deeply rooted in that so that came out of my art, too. I guess my biggest thing in life was always looking for that 'thing', because I find it the most interesting and in the religious texts is where they talk about dreams and prophetics stuff.
Daniela
Do you remember any of those instances where you dreamed of something and then it happened in real life? Was there a moment that stood out to you?
Rachel
I honestly can't think of an instance to talk about, but I did use to write down everything that I dreamt for a while. The mind is just like such a powerful thing. It's like a radio with an antenna and religion helps you process stuff in a healthier way. Like, I know where to put stuff, because you're constantly bombarded by all kinds of emotions and scenarios and things that can weigh you down, if you let them. There was an atmospheric change as soon as I opened the Bible, all my anxieties—gone. Wild. But it's like, there's a Holy Spirit and there's a spiritual world. It's super cool.
Daniela
I also have a lot of vivid dreams too and I don't know how to navigate them. But there's times where I'll dream of something and I'll go ahead and do it because it was a message—I have to do it. Like, there was a book in my dream—I have to go buy that book now and read it.
Rachel
Totally, me too. And I'd be like, "what are you being led by?" I mean, I got into tarot cards too because of the imagery and I was fascinated by the symbolism. I was just connecting with something.
Daniela
And it's comforting to know that you're not alone when you think about the universe and everything. Even when you are physically alone you don't feel alone because there's something looking out for you.
Rachel
That's it. And if you can really believe that then it's the key. Because it only helps if you really believe.
Daniela
It makes you feel like anything's possible, too. If you ever have a bad vision—do you interpret that as negative automatically? Or do you see that as something positive?
Rachel
That's an awesome question because that used to be the real reason for my anxiety. Because if things can happen from the dreams, I would be overcome with terror and it would just cause me a lot of anxiety. It was very hard to live like that because if they're vivid, they feel real when you wake up and then how do you go about your day? So no, I didn't see good in them. Now, I know where to put them so they don't affect me in the same way. Of course, everything's gonna affect me but I have to sit with it and put it in the right place.
Daniela
Yeah, I'm still learning how to do that. Because it is a crazy feeling when you wake up and realize you went through all that traumatic stuff for no reason. You're like, "Why did my brain do that to me?"
Rachel
A lot of times I find when I have them now it's just showing me old stuff through a different lens. Like old anger or rage—it's just either so that you can get it out because your body's trying to get it out and get rid of it in a safe place. Or it's something trying to bring you down when you're about to break through. Like when I got saved, I got a terrible case of shingles in my whole body and I was in pain everywhere. And it was all happening when I was changing my whole thought process and it was scary because I didn't know when it was gonna stop. It was weird because it was the same timing. I was also
under a lot of pressure at work, so it was a lot at once.
Daniela
Very intense. It's like a superpower when you can see that and realize it.
Rachel
Well, that's what it also says in the Bible—everybody has a gift. Everybody has different things that they do that come naturally to them.Daniela
I saw that you also make video work in addition to painting. They also feel very painterly. How do you approach your videos? Is it something that you do a lot? The audio and the visuals were gorgeous.
Rachel
Yeah, just having fun, I guess. And I think I started doing that more when I met my husband. That's just what we had fun doing together. He would make the music and we would just go out and make videos for fun.
Daniela
And is that a separate process? Like it's not at all related to your paintings?
Rachel
I'm not sure. Everything is sort of towards connecting with God in a way at this point. Like looking back, I can say that, but I never knew what I was doing.
Adrian
A lot of your stuff has nature in it. Are you connecting the spiritual world with nature in some way?
Rachel
I find nature to be a great inspiration because it's not man made. So you can go to it as the word of God. So, it's close to it.
Daniela
You creative directed your brother's music video for 'Runner', for his new album. Was that your first time doing something like that?
Rachel
Yeah, it was really fun. I just listened to the song a lot and called him with an aesthetic, basically. He already had in mind what he wanted as far as a direction for it. And I just sort of colored it in with all the details. I did the drawings for the set to be built and stuff just because I have that type of technology. And then I was on set with them and just made sure it all followed that aesthetic.
Daniela
So you're finally doing like set design.
Rachel
Yeah. It was really neat. Like, we had ideas and then you have your constraints because of what was available to you. So that's what came out of it.
Daniela
How much input do you get from him when making the art for the albums? Do you have full control?
Rachel
It varies. This past one we collaborated with putting images together and then came out with this. He just sent me what he was feeling from the music as far as an image and then we just added on to that. For House of Sugar—that was just a photograph of me that we had in the house while growing up and he was like, can you just paint this? And the albums before that—it was just what I was working on at the time. But I think that was pretty cool of him to just put whatever I was working on at the time out there with his music. I don't mind the collaboration, either. It's fun.
Daniela
I noticed that on the back of the vinyl of God Save the Animals the scene is much more dark and desolate. What's the story behind the front and the back cover and how they work together?
Rachel
The back cover was sort of the idea I was going to do for the front cover actually. Just a tree in the water. But I kept seeing this closer up thing from this view. So I was like, okay, that's what I'm gonna do then. That back cover was a photograph. I put the birds in the photograph and just put a wash over the photograph. The photograph was this tree that I knew of at a park that was in the water. It was interesting because I was like, "Oh, I'm going to do a willow tree in the water." And then he saw that the next day—a statue of that. And he happened to be in Maine at the time and he liked the picture of it. Stuff like that always happens. So that was the back cover and then it just came out like that because it happened to be like a snowstorm. I wanted to get the sky to be a different color. I was happy with it though. But it wasn't like a plan to make it seem desolate, honestly.Adrian
Did Alex already have the album title?
Rachel
Yes.
Daniela
Does he usually have the name ready before you make the art?
Rachel
No. Just this one and House of sugar. For all the other ones I just was working on that painting and then it was like, Oh, I have an album coming out like what are you working on? And so it was just like that.
Adrian
So you don't envision the typography as you're painting?
Rachel
I don't think so. When I was painting [God Save the Animals] I wasn't thinking like, where's the font gonna go? What's the font going to look like? There is a point where it starts to cross my mind but not not during the painting process really.
Adrian
But you also do the fonts, right?
Rachel
Yeah. House of Sugar was puffy paint and glitter. [God Save the Animals] one was gold stickers.
Adrian
Beach Music—was that digital?
Rachel
Yeah, digital. Because it was like carved in there, right? And DSU was digital too. And Rocket was digitized.
Daniela
Which album cover is your favorite?Rachel
I guess God Save the Animals. It's just the most realized, like where I'm at in life. I was able to see it more clearly. I like them all. The more personal it is then the more impactful it is when you look at it hundreds of years from now. But it's all impactful because it's all our artifacts in a way.
Daniela
Are there any artists that influenced you?
Rachel
I would say Van Gogh was very accessible to me when I was young and I think because it had such a quality to it where I thought, like, I could do that. And then like my mom had a Michelangelo book and I remember being in complete awe of his sculptures. Just really generic artists, I guess.
Daniela
No, it's totally reasonable. This summer, we went to Italy and we went to the Sistine Chapel. It was insane. Like you totally get it.
Rachel
Wow, yeah, that's so beautiful and overwhelming. Plus, like churches in that time period. Yeah. Overwhelming.
Daniela
Yeah. You can feel God and you can totally understand it all. If I was like a peasant at the time and I saw that stuff, I would feel it 10 times more.
Rachel
I get what you're saying too. And like, what do we put that into now? I guess it's music? I used to think that that was like my thing. Like, that's where I felt the most—when I'm at a show or something.
Daniela
It's definitely harder now because we have so much stuff that we can consume, but music can kind of hit all those things at once.
Rachel
It can! Yeah, it's different, right?
Daniela
Yeah, pretty neat. Has anyone ever asked you to make art for them? Like for their albums?
Rachel
Yeah. I only have so much time. I'm not doing art full time so I just haven't had the opportunity to do that. I do get a lot of messages about commissions and stuff or if I'm selling my art and I'm just not there yet. I don't know how to part with them yet for a reasonable price, because I can't put a number on it. It seems like way too much for what I'm willing to part with it for. So, I just hang on to them.
Daniela
Do you feel attached to them?Rachel
Yeah, I think so. Some people can just do paintings and sell them. I can sell them but I can't sell them at a reasonable price because of all the time that goes into it. I feel like I'd rather pass it down or something.
Daniela
Yeah, I'll never understand how others give paintings up. It's like a baby.
Rachel
Yeah, unless it was like the right thing. Like I've given paintings away. I've painted for people. That's fine. Especially if I started it out with that mindset.
Daniela
Have you ever shown your work anywhere?
Rachel
Twice; Like 10 years ago, maybe? That's when I was waitressing, mainly. So I was taking painting really seriously.
Daniela
Would you want to show your work anywhere now? Like have it exhibited?
Rachel
Oh, yeah, definitely. I would love to.
Daniela
Is there like a dream gallery? Or like a dream space you envision it in?
Rachel
No, because I just don't know enough about that world.
Daniela
Yeah, me neither, to be honest. What's it like having your art be a part of something that means so much to people?
Rachel
It's really neat how it worked out. I feel blessed that it can be shown to so many people. And I definitely remember being younger and starting out with canvases and being like, "This is what I'm doing." I had a job experience that was not good and I left and had to move out of my house and move back in with my parents. Alex was younger at the time in High School or maybe Middle School. I was like, 23 and he is eight years younger than me. He was making music on GarageBand a lot and I was making paintings and then we started making music together. That was a really special time. And so that's how we bonded to where he wanted to use my art because we were going through a big creative process together. I was in a weird space and he really helped me out of it and introduced me to a whole new world through art. I just never really got into making stuff and loving it. Especially making music with him—like I never tried that before. But I always like to write, so he was like, "Sing on this." and it felt amazing. And it was even more amazing to share that with somebody like, "Listen to what we made!"
Daniela
Do you ever still make music with him?
Rachel
No, we did that a really long time ago. It was so funny because he was so good at it. Like, I tried to make music with other people after that and it was still fun, don't get me wrong, but he's so good. It always sounded good.
Daniela
It's pretty special that you grew up with someone that you can naturally collaborate with. So many people seek a partner like that.
Rachel
I feel like we don't have to talk much and we could collaborate. And I feel like we share really similar tastes as far as aesthetics and stuff. And it's weird because he is eight years younger than me, but it doesn't feel like that and it never really did.
Adrian
It kind of makes sense then when he asks what you're working on at the moment an
d then uses that as an album cover. Like you guys have some telepathic thing going on.
Rachel
For sure. I walked into a tree recently while walking the dog because I wasn't paying attention and my glasses cut through my face. And then my mom saw me and she's like, "Alex just smashed his nose too!" Apparently he dove into water and had a bloody face and had a big thing on his nose. The same week! So I was like, what did we hit like in this otherworld?
Daniela
Like you were both hitting a portal or something. Was religion a big part of your life growing up?Rachel
No. My dad went to Catholic school and just got it wrong. I'm not saying Catholicism has it wrong, but the whole system is something standing in the way of the ease and the joy of the Gospel. I just hear horror stories about getting beaten and kids reciting things and how there's a priest that you confess your sins to. I mean, that's a person standing in the place of God. It's unfortunate, because people always bring up the violence that happens because of religion and that's the antithesis of what Jesus preached like. I'm still getting through the Bible because I don't understand a lot of it. Or I didn't understand a lot of it because I never spoke that language because I didn't grow up with religion. Also, my mom was Jewish. It's just that my parents come from a time period where religion was shoved down your throat a little bit. And there was a lot of hypocrisy that their generation could see through so it just got a bad rap. But yeah, I would say there's a void in all of us that's looking for that connection that you can't deny forever.
Daniela
I went to Catholic school. I was there for 10 years growing up, but I was lucky enough that the school I went to wasn't so harsh with it. Like, we didn't have a church, we didn't have nuns walking around and stuff. I would take religion class and you would watch Jesus movies and learn Bible stories, but I was still able to interpret it. Like, of course, there'll be moments as a little kid where I was scared of God. Like, if I did something bad, I'd think I was going to hell, you know? But also that could just be a little kid being afraid of getting in trouble.
Rachel
I don't know, because I didn't have that. And I don't know if that's a bad thing, but that's interesting because I just didn't grow up with that notion.
Daniela
My family wasn't that religious, though. We didn't really go to church or anything. Like it was just a thing that happened at school. So it wasn't in my household that much. I could have had it much, much worse. Like, the stories I've heard from my friends who've moved on to all girls and all boys catholic, private high schools. Those are intense. A lot of bullying happens. I've heard some bad things.
Rachel
In the name of God? Or like just nasty bullying?
Daniela
Just nasty bullying, but I also feel like when you're in an environment that tells you not to do all these things and that all those things are gonna happen to you. It can create reactions.
Rachel
Yeah, it's weird. I don't know what the answer is at all. Like, I would never have understood it until I was ready.
Daniela
Yeah. I mean, I never felt like I was 100% connected to anything. So I was pretty chill in that sense. And then I think it just came naturally to me. Like when things happen i
n your life and you can't explain it, that's when it's like, Oh, then there's something going on. Kind of like stories of how you and your brother both hit your face—sometimes that kind of thing would happen to me and my best friend.
Rachel
They call it Synchronicity. It's coined as that, but it's like, so what? I think heartbreak, losing people—those times in life that we'll all end up coming into contact with. Like, how do you cope? I think that was like the breaking point for me and I was like, I have to figure out how to live. There's a reason you can heal with a different mindset. Because if your brain can cause my shingles for example—how do you get out of this? Well, I gotta lean on, like something else.
Daniela
Yeah, sometimes when I get sick I just tell myself things are gonna happen and I'm gonna get better and it just goes away.Rachel
Yeah, it'll help you more than the alternative. You'll have a better chance. You can think positively to an extent but how can you really think positively? You have to believe something cares about you. And it's really listening. There's a Holy Spirit and it's everywhere.
Daniela
Sometimes, I'll find myself thinking badly or I'm just not doing something right or I can tell that I know what I'm doing is wrong. And then maybe I'll stub my toe or something after that thought and that's something waking me up. And then I'm like, Okay, I gotta let that thought go.
Rachel
Yeah. Your thoughts can create discord in your environment. So how do you stand then after going through Catholic school?
Daniela
To me, the way I look at it, it was never serious. Like, I didn't get baptized until I needed to because my school forced us to do the communion and my parents were like, Okay, we need to get you baptized.
Rachel
Right. So it's not even something you chose.
Daniela
It was school: in order to get to fifth grade I needed to have my communion. And I wouldn't know what's going on—I'd watch live action Jesus movies and that was my experience. Whenever we had Ash Wednesday or things like that—that would take place in the school auditorium. But I know some intense schools have their own church on campus but we didn't have that. It all just felt like part of the curriculum because it needed to be but it wasn't the sole purpose of everything. Like we would have to do a morning prayer but I never knew the words because it was all in Spanish. That's another thing. So I would just mumble and make my way through. I was also always in my own head when I was little, so I just made my experience what I wanted it to be. I think a lot of it was like, when a family member dies and you need something to lean on, like you mentioned. I think that's when I take the things that I've learned and kind of put it into practice in that sense. It's comforting to know that that person is not completely gone. I think it was during COVID when there was a complete unknowingness and I was forced to be by myself. To have that feeling that I wasn't by myself and that the universe was looking out for me—that to me was comforting. I feel like I struggled with that idea.
Rachel
You almost feel weird saying it. Like, it's associated with negativity.
Daniela
Yeah. Or it's embarrassing. Things just like happened in my life and you realize living is so much better when you know that there's something there. This is how I go about my everyday life, even for small things. Like, I'm at a store and I'm panicking because I can't find this thing and I realize it's sold out and I'm like, Okay, God didn't want me to get this because I needed to save my money. It can be really stupid or it can be really big. It's fun.
Rachel
I was just talking to my husband about the movie The Labyrinth. I remember when I first saw it, I didn't get it. I didn't really see how it's like, "Go here. Go this way. Go that way." I don't know if you ever saw that.
Daniela
Is that the one with David Bowie?
Rachel
Yeah. Like there's all these things telling you which way to go. Everything's trying to turn you in different directions, but like, there is a direction that can get you out. I always pray that I could see that and not fall victim to the illusion.
Daniela
Yeah, it's really about learning how to, like choose the right thing sometimes. I can have crazy moments listening to music and I need to figure something out and I'm feeling really stressed. But I listen to the song, I go for a bike ride and I feel like I'm flying. I've had that feeling once. Sometimes you feel it and it's so powerful and you just know you're on the right track even when it feels like you're on the wrong one. I've been able to come to that realization with my friend who introduced me to a few things. Like other people feel that way too, like you too. It's nice to hear that, especially about dreams.
Rachel
It is nice to hear if other people go through things that made you think that you're crazy. If it's not looked at as crazy, then maybe it doesn't become something worse.
Daniela
Yeah, that's true. And sometimes it doesn't have to be like a literal thing. Like, that feeling doesn't have to be defined by a specific religion. But like, sometimes Adrian will get sick and he'll be like, "I'm sick. I'm sick.", even like before, like anything really bad happens. I'll be like you'll be fine, just don't go there because you can give your body the power to feel really sick if you have that mentality.
Rachel
Oh, yes. I've noticed this with Aquila, my son. If he falls and gets hurt and you react like he got hurt then he gets upset. But if you're like, you're fine, he'll be fine. Yeah.
Daniela
It's also a normal reaction too. When something bad happens in your life your body physically reacts to it. Having something really toxic in your life, and not even realizing it, but your body's telling you. Like, I had really bad cystic acne which I haven't had since I was like, 15. My doctor will tell me that it's my hormones, but it's not that. And the moment that person was out of my life, it was gone. My body was telling me something.
Rachel
It's so cool and it's good to pay attention to that type of stuff. And for everybody to just remember that that is a thing, too. Doctors are awesome and I'm so thankful we have them, but everybody's different and everything matters.
Daniela
I have one last question. What makes someone a superstar?
Rachel
I would say being humble to the fact that it's something greater than you that's giving you that power and it's that which should be revered.